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“Remembrance of Being a Little Bit Fat” - Tina Fey
For a breif time at the end of that last century I was over-weight. This is what I remember about that period.
- My boobs were bigger.
- I once left a restaurant in the middle of dessert to get to Krispy Kreme before it closed.
- Even though I only liked McDonald’s fries, I believed it was more nutritious to make a meal of it and have two cheeseburgers as well.
- If I was really ambitious, I would get a Whopper Jr. at Burger King and then walk to McDonald’s to get the fries. The shake could be from anywhere.
- I could not run a mile.
- I wore oversize men’s overalls that I loved.
- Guys who were friends with me did not want to date me…and I hated them for it.
- On at least three occasions, I vomited on Christmas Eve from mixing chocolate, peel-and-eat shrimp, summer sausage, and cheese. No alcohol was involved.
- As a size twelve, I took pride in the idea that I was “real woman”-sized. “Size twelve is the national average,” I would boast, “no matter what magazines try to tell you.
- Once, while ironing in my underwear, I grazed my protruding belly with the hot iron.
We should leave people alone about their weight. Being chubby for a while (provided you don’t give yourself diabetes) is a natural phase of life and nothing to be ashamed of. Like puberty or slowly turning into a Republican.
(Bossypants Pg: 117)
